FRIDAY - Devotional

READ: Philippians 4:4-7

(Answer the question/s below in your app notes)

• What concerns do you need to entrust to God’s power today?

God, it’s me. I’m barely here. You know what happened, don’t you? It’s hard to even speak about it. How could you? My parents told me tonight they’re getting a divorce. I don’t understand. We seemed fine yesterday. Is it my fault? Am I the one to blame? Did I do something? Am I too much to handle? Why can’t they just love each other? Why can’t we just be a family? And, here, I’ll say it. I’m angry. Imagine how I felt when, after turning to the Bible for comfort, I stumbled upon Philippians 4:4 7. That felt impossible. “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I’ll say it: rejoice!” Because once wasn’t enough? You want me to doubly rejoice? Always means right now, but how could I rejoice right now, God? You want me to be happy? My whole world is broken! I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again! And then it says to bring everything to you with thanksgiving. Seriously? You want me to be grateful for my parents’ divorce? I mean, honestly, that’s just cruel. I’m questioning everything. I was so earnest in my prayers this week. Is this punishment? Did I not pray hard enough.

[One hour later]

I’m back. I took a break. Couldn’t think. I walked around the block. My dad’s suitcase was out when I got back. I lost it. My mouth tastes salty now because of all the tears. This is awful.

I reread the verse. I guess it says something else. “Be grateful in all circumstances.” Not for them—in them. That seems a teensy bit more reasonable. But there’s still no reason for any of this. I’m in quite a “circumstance” right now, God. I’m not feeling grateful for my parents’ divorce, and to be honest, I’m not feeling very grateful right now at all in general. But…I kept reading. And I see your promise here, about guarding my heart with a peace that goes beyond understanding. That’s good, because I don’t understand much right now. So…even though I’m angry, could I have some of that peace? Even though I’m not grateful right now…maybe I can work on it? It feels impossible. But people always say you’re the God of the impossible. So can you give me your impossible peace?